Let’s rewind to… 2006? That can’t be right? I think it might be.
Okay then, lets go back to 2006, when I am a little, awkward, embarrassing child of only 13. And it’s Valentine’s Day. And it’s break time at school, and me and my friends are in the library, finishing off some last minute french homework (I think?). And one or two of my male friends have mentioned in the past week or so that they intend to send valentines cards. And we’re all trying to get it out of them who they’re sending it too, because none of us think it will be us, and we’re sure that it will be no one outside of our friendship group either.
But, lo and behold, the bell rings for the end of break, and we are frantically struggling to finish writing about our fake weekend at the cinema or the park or the swimming pool, when this red envelope gets placed down beside me.
And I don’t know what to do????
It has my name on it. I’m sure I open it. I think I hug the guy and say thanks afterwards. But it’s all very awkward and I don’t know what to do.
This was, and remains to this day, the only valentine’s card I have ever received. At the time, I didn’t fancy this boy (at least I don’t think I did?), that crush came later, but now he’s been in a very long term relationship with a friend. Not that that matters.
I don’t know the point of this post. This memory always seems to rear its ugly head at random times of my life, and then disappears for years at a time. Do I wish I had someone to celebrate V day with? No, I think it’s a silly day. Do I maybe wish younger me had been more confident and been able to react better to this situation and tell her crush that she liked them instead of harbouring internal feelings for nigh on 5 years? Yes, yes I do. I wish younger me had been less awkward and more open to new situations and exciting and scary situations, and yes, maybe I wish younger me had had a boyfriend at one time or another, but I kind of think that everyday. Not just V day. But that’s a post for another day.