(10/2/17) Who I would like to be.

So recently, I’ve been tidying out my room, and found, amongst many other distracting and hilarious things from over the years, I found one bit of paper in particular that made me think. I’m guessing I initially wrote it about 2 years now,and it’s titled ‘What/how do I want to be?’

So what’s on the list?

  • Learn to drive and own a car
  • Get a job and save lots of money
  • Develop a good skincare routine
  • Be well dressed
  • Have a better and varied diet
  • Keep a tidier room
  • Get a better sleeping pattern
  • Get into better habits e.g. opening windows more
  • Exercise more
  • Travel more, even if it’s just around my home city
  • Work on social skills and being more confident
  • Work on being less anxious
  • Think less what people think of me
  • Write more
  • Read more
  • Watch less TV
  • Be unapologetic about who I am
  • Be more educated and informed on social issues
  • Try and make better connections with people
  • Learn to cook
  • Take more selfies and practice daily self love
  • Cut down on social media

So, have I achieved any of these?

I definitely read more, and I have a car, and a job, and some money, and some career plans possibly, so that’s something. But I definitely do not exercise more, or use less social media (but maybe I use it differently? I think I use it for better things now) and I’ve made more friends, but I’ve also lost friends, or rather just don’t consider them close friends anymore. I still don’t know how to cook, and I still want to travel more, I’m still an anxious wreck most of the time, but I am on medication for that.

Basically, I haven’t done a lot of these. And a lot of them tie in some of my 2017 goals that I made. So me and past me essentially have the same goals. Is it shitty that I haven’t done most of these in two years? Not really. It was a busy, hectic, stressful, and depressing two years in some aspects and a lot of them are things to build on and continue doing, working on them everyday.

But it’s interesting to look back and see who past me wanted to be. And who present me is still striving for. Let’s hope I get there sometime soon.



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