(6/2/2017) Why do I do this to myself?

So, today, I was off work. I’d planned to have a really productive day, doing all those little itty-bitty jobs I keep putting off.

And as of yet, I have not. No surprise there.

But, anyway, our oven has broke. And so, while my mam has gone out for lunch, I planned to go and get myself something from the shops, and then we’d both just have a salad or sandwich for tea.

Except part of me really craved a KFC. I never go to KFC – on the rare occasions I have fast food, it’s a McDonalds. And so I thought why not make the most of this day off, I’m going near a KFC anyway cause I needed the post office. I’d ‘treat myself.’

Except I didn’t, did I?

I didn’t really enjoy it and just got it cause I could. I ate way too much and felt really gross after it.

I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with eating this kind of food. Obviously it’s not the healthiest, but each to their own. But the only reason I got it is cause I thought I wanted it. I didn’t need that much, I didn’t find it particularly delicious. If I’d wanted to ‘treat myself’ there are loads of other foods I would have enjoyed more. So why did I go for this? Because I never have it and tricked myself into thinking I need it? Some sort of if you’re treating yourself why not go all out and eat so much?

I don’t know, and I’m not commenting on fast food, or KFC, or anything like that here. I’m commenting about the way I listen to my body and treat it, and how I can’t seem to ever stop when I’m full.

I need to take cues from my body, about when to eat and what to eat and when to stop. I need to treat myself better. I need to take care of myself.




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